OUTCAN Advice: Ask Andrea - I Can OUTCAN: Why You Should Join This Group!
By Andrea Liss, MSW, RSW
CFMWS OUTCAN Global/Rest of World Social Worker
Looking for a little advice about your relationship? Perhaps you have questions about parenting? Ask Andrea! Our social worker, Andrea Liss will pick one question a month and answer it in our newsletter. You can submit your questions anonymously to her at https://forms.office.com/r/F3rxQKvTdQ
Dear Andrea,
What is I Can OUTCAN? I have thought about inquiring about the group but just haven’t. Can you tell me about it? - OUTCAN Spouse
Dear OUTCAN Spouse,
I sure can tell you about this fantastic weekly virtual gathering. Here goes! Here are some questions I often get about I Can OUTCAN.
What is I Can OUTCAN?
I Can OUTCAN is a virtual support group for civilian OUTCAN CAF spouses. The group meets regularly to share the pits and peaks of OUTCAN life, build community, and give and receive support. It goes without saying that spouses who have embarked on an OUTCAN face similar experiences- some are joyous and others quite challenging. Foreign moves, culture shock, remote caregiving, changes in employment status, making new friends, travel, and child development are many of the important areas that affect an OUTCAN family. I Can OUTCAN is a space to speak freely, listen and lend perspective. This works especially well because it is only OUTCAN spouses that understand the OUTCAN spouse experience. I Can OUTCAN has been continuously running since March 2022. There is rolling enrollment.
Who facilitates this group?
I do. My name is Andrea Liss. I am an old, gray psychotherapist who took a risk nearly five years ago and decided to close my private practice and take a sabbatical from teaching to move to Germany and take on the role of CFMWS OUTCAN Social Worker for Europe. I could not resist the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to move abroad for work. The military was not completely unfamiliar to me as my father was a CAF veteran. Currently, I am back in Canada where I support all OUTCAN families including Global/Rest of World families. I have been in the field of mental health and higher education for over 25 years.
Why did you start this support group?
I was surprised at how hard it was to move OUTCAN! Oh my. I realized rather quickly that there were a lot of moving parts that I had not anticipated. As the CFMWS OUTCAN Social Worker for Europe during the pandemic, I saw and felt the stress that my clients were experiencing as they were navigating moving to a foreign land with a family. Keep in mind that stress can be both positive and negative- it’s not all ‘woe is me’ and that is certainly not the group atmosphere. But let’s be real, life is both beautiful and tough. Sometimes we need connection, a place to be heard, a place to help others, and a place to be “in this together.” So, I started the group to help foster community and encourage OUTCAN spouses to support each other.
What should I expect as a member of this group?
Each session follows a pattern of checking in with each other, sharing the pits and peaks of the week, and based on the needs of the group, we will have a discussion on whatever the group wants. Sometimes I suggest “deep” topics to discuss like grief and other times it’s a practical but important topic of discussion such as hot tips for moving. Sometimes I just roll with what group members bring to that session. There are no hard and fast rules except starting and ending the session on time. Both conversation and listening are encouraged whereas advice giving is discouraged unless asked for. Group member perspectives and experience are highly valued.
Do I have to attend every session?
No. Because people travel, have school schedules to attend, and visits back to Canada, the group recognizes that meeting every week would be too restricting. That said, people attend as regularly as possible and block off their schedules because they are committed to the ritual of regular meetings and to each other. Regular attendance builds connection, safety, and trust. The group gathers once a week and we break for the summer and holidays.
Why is a Social Worker facilitating the group?
In the course of my work as a CFMWS OUTCAN Social Worker I learned that the transitions to and from OUTCAN were not easy for most and that people were experiencing similar thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Missing home, being alone, becoming a stay-at-home parent again, navigating COVID or war, leaving aging parents back home, and sorting out all things CEM, travel, and finances are the same for each of us. Group members help each other and provide the space to chat, laugh, and sometimes get serious. As a Social Worker I am trained in group facilitation. Group members can be confident that the group will run smoothly and that all will be arranged for them- there is no effort required to be a part of the group except clicking a link and being fully present to the group for the hour. Everything else is up to me as the facilitator, including managing group dynamics and ensuring each member is doing well.
Is I Can OUTCAN confidential?
Yes. However, participation in the group is not anonymous: participants log in using their first names, and the meetings take place with cameras on. There is no requirement to share specific details about your location or any information that could identify your spouse. In addition, everyone is asked to respect confidentiality by keeping identifying information within the group.
Will my involvement negatively impact my CAF partner?
No. In fact, it will enhance your partner’s own OUTCAN experience. By virtue of you having support and targeted space to talk and exchange resources, being a part of the group will definitely benefit you and the whole family.
I want to check this out. How can I register?
Contact me, Andrea Liss at liss.andrea@cfmws.com and we will have a chat so that I can get your information and answer any more questions. The link for the group is only available through me. This simplifies your registration and keeps the group private.
Andrea holds a master’s degree in Social Work and is a Registered Social Worker (Ontario) with over 20 years of experience. She is the MFS OUTCAN Rest of World Social Worker, supporting CAF families navigating life abroad. If you’re a CAF family member and would like to connect with Andrea one‑on‑one or join the OUTCAN spousal support group she facilitates, you’re welcome to reach out by email at liss.andrea@cfmws.com.
Support is also available in your OUTCAN area. If you or your family would benefit from speaking with a social worker during your OUTCAN posting, we encourage you to contact your regional CFMWS Social Worker:
USA: Marion Hall — hall.marion@cfmws.com
Europe: MFSSocialwork@cfmws.com
Global / Rest of World: Andrea Liss — liss.andrea@cfmws.com
